Girl Child on My Mind

 

“It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men” Frederick Douglas

First off, I would like to say thanks to God for his continually blessings in my life, and to everyone thanks for taking your time to read my blog. I appreciate the support and I am grateful for it.

I wanted to talk about an issue that has been on my mind for a while.

I come from Sierra Leone West Africa and now living in the United States. Today I would like to talk about one of the main issues affecting a girl child in the world at large and specifically Sierra Leone.

Rape is something that is affecting lots of children in Sierra Leone especially the girl child and the effect though minimized by society, does have an everlasting effect on the child.

I am writing this piece not to talk about whether I was raped or not, I just wanted to talk about the realities of rape victims especially with what I have seen.

One situation that is very familiar in Sierra Leone,is where a family would welcome the male child of their relatives or a father’s younger brother or a mother’s younger brother(Paternal and Maternal Uncle or just a cousin or distant relation) to live in their home along with their young girl child between the ages of 8-16 years old child. This uncle or distant relative of this family rapes this little girl from childhood to her teenage life as long as they are living together in the same house,some times without the knowledge of the parent. The child is too young to understand what is happening to her, she starts having behavioral issues, acting like an adult or being extremely defiant. Nobody knows what she is going through because she is so scared to talk to anyone not even her parent because she thinks they might not believe her or because the perpetrator may threaten her.

As Parents we should be able to ask our children questions, offer them platforms to tell us when something affects them or talk to them when you notice a difference in their  behavior. Some people might become aware of this situation but instead of helping this little girl, they would sometimes say maybe this child asked to be raped because she dresses like an adult and she is suggestive in her behaviors. Whether it is your child or not you have the responsibility to look out and report any misconduct as these children are the future of our country.

Then the parent comes to realize that this adult or family member that he trust so much has been doing this despicable act to her child, the parent not understanding what steps to take would keep it “hush hush” among family members only or sometimes blame the child or not wanting to have society frown at her child or judge her as if it was her child’s fault to be raped or as if she asked for it.

The consequences for this adult for violating this little princess for almost all of her childhood and teenage life is absolutely NOTHING!!!!!!!! He gets away with it, and all that comes from it is,him  being asked to move out of the house and the  parent or relative believing this solves everything and not thinking about the effect this adversity would have on a child. It becomes a vicious circle, one person violating many children becomes no one  knows what to do or maybe no  one wants to make their child society’s ridicule.  

This little girl has been subjected to abuse and for the rest of her life she would not really understand what has happened to her.

In Sierra Leone there is statutory rape law as far as I know, (I might be wrong) but unfortunately these same lawmakers are the ones violating and taking advantage of the  little children so nothing comes out of it even when reported to the law because they themselves are perpetrators. That would be  another story for another time,(to be continued some other time,People in power vs young children). I have not heard of anyone being prosecuted for something they did let say 10 years ago especially with raping a young child at an early age.

 As women, they get to live with the scars of being raped for the rest of their lives with no one to talk about it with  or any program or form of rehabilitation for them, whilst the abuser goes on with his life as if everything he did to you at such a young age was fine and that no one can do anything about it. Society has failed these women and keeps on failing these beautiful children. I hope that we put in place a system to be able to protect all our children from these heinous acts. 

I am only admonishing fellow Sierra Leoneans, and parents all over the world, RAPE is destructive and it affects a child emotionally, physically and mentally and it is never the fault of the child. The abuser should be ostracized or should have the  law of our country take it full cause. 

We need to understand, a child cannot and is not able to make adult decisions and every child should be given the opportunity to live as a child especially the girl child. Please stop taking our children’s innocence!!!!!!

NO MAN SHOULD TAKE ADVANTAGE OF A CHILD AND GET AWAY WITH IT especially in this 21st century.  

As it’s rightly put by a man whom I believe is an icon and an example to the world, one of my heroes, “There can be no keener revelation of society’s soul than the way in which it treats its children.” Nelson Mandela

Let us put hands together and treat our children rightly with the love and care they need especially the girl child who is vulnerable to these issues.  

Thanks for reading.

Leave your comments or thought on the issue of rape especially in Sierra Leone.

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My Journey…… Makeup Junky!!

“Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day- in day -out” Robert Collier

First I will like to say thank you God for all he keeps doing in my life and for the journey I embark  on in life.God has been really  kind to me and my family and to this I say thank you father God. Also thank you so much for taking the time to read my blog and I want you to know that I appreciate the love and support.

Before I write any further I would like you to see the makeover of me and my friend Jestina.End results, Thanks for your support and hope you all like it.

On a side note,Would you not say that I am getting better every day?

 

If you are my friend and you follow me on Facebook, Instagram or twitter, you would  notice that I have been filling my timeline talking  about makeup and how I spend my time practicing to be successfull at it. I started this journey about few months ago, with the help of my husband and family members whom I always ask to either take my picture after practicing a particular area or with family members who I ask to do their makeups even when they know I am not the greatest,but they oblige and for that I am grateful. I do believe that I have come a long way from the crooked brows, thick eyeshadows to getting lighter on the hand with the eyes and getting better brows. It does feel good and I am especially grateful to Youtube tutorials (Yes Youtube LOL!!) for the learning process.

I am passionate about this and   hope you all follow me through this journey.Thinking of going to beauty school to make it an official second career. What do you think?I look  forward to being skilled and pass these skills to others and definitely make a difference in a woman’s life.

I look forward to hearing your feedbacks as I will definitely keep you posted on how I am getting along.

Remember friends “If you genuinely want something, don’t wait for it-Teach yourself to be impatient” Gurbash Chahal

Thanks for reading and I hope you would like, or follow my page.

Thanks all!!!

 

My life is a Miracle!

 

Hi Friends and Family. It has been a minute since i updated my blog.

“There are only two ways  to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”Albert Einstein

I would like to say thank you so much for reading and being part of these moments in my life.

It had a been a very busy few months since I last posted and these has been because so many great things has been happeinng in my life and I am so grateful to God for everything.

I finally finished my Masters and graduated on the 13th of May 2016 with a Masters  of Arts in Elementary Education Literacy Option.(University of Akron Alumni)

My brother and cousin got married two weeks apart from each other. We travelled to Negril,  Jamaica to attend my brother Chernor’s  wedding to Aissa(Mr and Mrs Bah) seaside wedding. It was a very beautiful wedding and we had so much fun with lots of family members and friends  around. Ya man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(Picture of bride and groom above)

For my cousin Wilmot and Glady’s  wedding(Mr and Mrs Sowa), we went to New York at a beautiful location and had a great ceremony with family and friends. Though the weddings were both different but they were great and we had so much fun. (Picture of bride and groom above)

On another note, I would  like to send my condolences to the people of Orlando. May God comfort victims of this senseless massacre and their families. Let us remember this as a country and as humanity, Love overcomes all.” Be kind to one another and may God bless us all.

My family and I send their love and support to you all. We love you!

Thanks for reading

Please subscribe/like and follow my blog.

Thanks so much for reading and sharing my moments with me.

 

God is good!

Hi everyone. Thank you for all your support and love you all keep showing me. I have been a little busy writing my finals hence the short hiatus.It been hectic but I have enjoyed every bit of itand I cherish the experience I have had and the friends I have made.

There is light at the end of the tunnel and for this I am grateful to God.

To this end, here is my new look. Shout out to my niece Fatou Kargbo for hooking me up with this new look. I love it.  What do you all think?????????

img_5366-1

 
I love it!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Don’t forget to like or leave a comment.

Joys of Motherhood

img_5246My babies!!!!!

“(24/7) Once you sign up to be a mother, thats the only shift they offer”-Jodi Picoult My sister’s Keeper

 

One of my best achievements in life are my three beautiful kids. They are a blessing in my life and I would not trade  moments with them for anything else in this life.

I  would like to know if anyone out there relates to some of these things that happen to me as a mother. I am a student, work full time and a full time mum, living with my husband. I applaud single mothers, i don’t know how you all do it by yourselves because  even as a mother who shares responsibility with my husband, its a little bit tough. We cannot change the cards we are dealt, so I applaud all you wonderful single mums/dads out there, kudos to you,I take my hat out to you all.

I get off work, pick my boys up as my husband looks after them when am at work, and then drops them off to family members where I get to pick them up. They are both 1 and 3 respectively. When I pick them up from work, I am already so tired that my mind starts telling me “Hadie, you ve had a long day today so you need to get home and relax”. I will get home and hoping my babies will  let me be for maybe an hour. Hmmm, what a dream, because the moment I get home my life starts all over again. My 1 year old would be crying, am trying to take care of him, feed him, change him, then my 3 yr. old would start calling for my attention because in his little mind I guess he is saying i need my mummy too. And I would ask him what do you want? By this time I am thinking, do they not know that I need a little break? “I want juice now”! He does know how to get himself a drink, but for some reason mummy has to do it for him. I would keep my calm because I know he is trying to argue with me, going back and forth as at this age, he has just found his voice so he talks a lot more than before. I would say baby please ask nicely and without any prompt to “ask nicely” he would say with his little cute voice Mummy, Can I please have juice?” I say to myself he knows how to ask politely but why does he start with the command? He just likes it when mummy talks a lot.Oh well i can’t win every battle so i will let it go, get him a drink and think well this is it,he is going to watch a movie in his room. Nope! He comes back for different things every now and again.

Have you all noticed that for some reason when you are on the phone and your child notices this moment, he seems to ask for more things than usual as if he is trying to say “Get off the phone woman” This happens to me almost everyday of my life and i will tell him over and over again, “baby mummy is on the phone, but it just falls on deaf ears.  Its mummy this, mummy that,or  baby crying or fighting with his brother for his tablet.I end up not able to do one single homework or relaxing. By the time they fall asleep, I get too tired and am sleeping on the couch, till my husband gets home which is a little before midnight. Sometimes if they are not asleep at this time, he helps me out with them. I appreciate him for this because he would just be becoming off from work himself but i know he understands and i appreciate him for this.

My 3 yr old talks a lot but he makes me laugh a lot and i cherish these little banters between us. These are some of our conversations:

CJ: Mummy i need my pants please?

Mummy: No you are not wearing any pants today

CJ: Am mad at you mummy.

Mummy: Why baby, what did I do?

CJ: because  you said I can’t get my pants.  You are not being nice to me. . He is so funny.

He is also caring when he sees me cry over some TV show that am watching(am a soppy mum, cry for anything or everything on Tv-Dont’t judge😜),he would ask me mummy why are you crying?  Nothing baby the show is just making me cry. He would still say “Sorry mummy”!

Are these experiences an all mum experience, or is it just me? ‘Time for youself’ as a mother is a thing of the past and so now i just dream about it and cherish the moments i have with them. My friends tell me “You don’t want them to grow up too fast on you because you would miss these moments “, well i already miss the moments when they were babies and had nothing to say back to me:)

My everyday life is lived by these phrases, don’t do that! Stop it!  but you know what I cannot imagine my life without them.

With all these being said, are you a mother who experience these moments with your kids or just tell me how your day to day live works with your kids.

Leave a comment and let’s talk about it.

This is for us all the beautiful mums, and the wonderful dads who hold it down for their kids, we all do a great job and much love to us all.

Thanks!!!!!

Happy Sunday to all my friends and family. Love u all and appreciate all who take their time to read and comment on my blog. I decided to do this because I believe my life is an example to those who believe it is over when it has not even started. God is the author and finisher of all things. No matter your situation now, bear in mind it is not permanent, your change would come sooner than you think.

I believed and I conquered lots of obstacles and I believe there is more to conquer because for success to be attained you have to pass through the mud. Remember that when coming out of that situation, you would be washed so clean that your enemy would not recognize. This is my belief and I ask God to bless you all.

Love you all and happy Sunday from

Hubby and me.

The change that changed it all

 

As I said in my last blog, we did have a change and when this change came, our lives took an entire turn to a different course, even though sad but made us stronger.

When I was about 5 going to 6, I would remember vividly that my mum and dad had a store (provisional shop), and as teachers it was meant to supplement for them the other things they would not provide for us with their meager salary, as within 4 to 6 years their family has grown to a of 5 people (3 kids).This store was supposed to help us out and it did for a while until one day my mum came home and packed us all (Kids) out of our home without our dad and moved us into my auntie’s house.

As a child, I didn’t understand what was happening neither did my siblings as they were younger. Our minds were trying to understand the change we were going through, like, what could be making my mum pack her things and leave my dad behind. In my little mind, I thought we were going on vacation, visiting family members as this was a tradition of my family to visit family members during the holidays. My siblings and I, especially my brother because then my sister was about 2yrs old were thinking, well maybe we would go back to our lives and be a happy family again, but  1 day became 2days and 2days became 3years etc. and then it became apparent that we were not going back to our dad’s home. Something is wrong with our family, it is now broken, we don’t know why or what caused it but as we got older we started hearing things and we knew then that this was way bigger than our little minds could take.

I never heard my mum and dad argue at that time, and so this was all a big shock to us. Our mum is now a single mum, in her twenties, a teacher (Teacher’s certificate-TC) and four mouths to feed including a niece who lived with her during this period. Things changed drastically for us, my mum made sure we went to school and as an older child I went to a good enough primary school at that time (St Joseph’s Primary School). My brother went to a school around the area where we lived because my mum could not afford transportation for both of us, and my younger sister was sent to my late grandmother for a year in the village whilst she try to put her life together.

I can tell you this for sure that the break between my mum and dad was hard and it definitely made me the stronger woman I am today.  In my auntie’s home (My mum’s older sister), there were more than 30 people living in this house and when we came to live at their house, there was not a lot of space available for us, the only place available for us at that time was a one bedroom under the basement of the house (Krio-under sayla), which was where all the kitchen or other materials were kept. As kids we slept with other family members in the space where all the kitchen stuff were kept, my mum would spread clothes (Lappas) on the floor and she would sleep on a small bed that was enough for one in a little room next to ours. Our room was an access to other rooms and that makes it difficult sometimes as people were going in and out of the room, and we were also the first people to wake up because the kitchen utensils were needed for morning breakfast every day. We would wake up in the morning go to our mum’s room, get our school materials, shower and get ready for school. This happened for almost 4 or 5 years of our lives. It was a hard life during this period. We ate rice and pepper (Dry res en pepper),bulgur, (whole grain wheat), and as my mum was a teacher  she would sell things like things like cool aid (Ice), Fish ball (Fishball), Bulgur (Bulgur Kanya), corn flour (Kanya), etc to the kids she teaches to make ends meet. We came from having our own bedroom to now sleeping on the floor, because of this change.

It was so bad that one day during this period, I could remember vividly, my mum was dressing up to go out, she wore a dress that I thought in my little mind she has won so much, it was all faded and her shoes were all worn out, so I turned towards her and said “Mama please don’t wear this clothes, it’s too “white” (meaning too old). She looked at me and I could see the sadness in her eyes and she said “oh no don’t worry its fine, I will just have it starched and ironed, it would be new again.” She told me later on that it brought tears to her eyes, and as a kid I was able to see her sufferings even though I didn’t understand it at that time. I remember also going to a cousin’s birthday party and I had a plastic shoe (celetoe) on, all the kids were pointing at my shoes and laughing at me, I went to my mum as a kid and said “Mum they are laughing at my shoes” she replied and said to me the only way she knows how “Don’t worry about them, you forget about them ok” and trust me that made me feel better at that moment. The voice of my mum saying “don’t worry about them was a blessing” I held my head up high and did not allow these kids to spoil that moment even in my plastic shoeJ. I did not let them break me, but I still remember that day like it happened yesterday.

My mum got everything second hand for us(Or hand me downs) because that was what she could afford and I remember that as children we never once complained even when we saw other families living way better than we did. We ate what was given to us and we wore what our mum bought for us.

We would see our dad here and there every now and again and was a difficult period as every time we saw him, we would cry so hard when it was time to leave. Looking back now, I do wonder as an adult why my mum was the one who moved out of the house instead of the other way round. But you know this is just my thought. My mum is a strong black woman and she held it together travelling to the village to get materials she would sell just to make ends meet, and doing all she could to make sure that we do go to school and have clothes on our back. We appreciate her for all she has done for us.

She is one of my heroes and she is a strong black woman.

Today is the birthday of this special woman in my life, the strong black woman who held it down. Please help me wish her a happy birthday.

Thanks for reading.

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